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Friday, August 21, 2009

Losers Can Be Winners, Too

I didn't make it. There, I said it. I found out for sure at about 5:30 this morning. I fell asleep the night before full of anticipation, keeping my iPhone handy to check every thirty minutes to an hour throughout the night, hoping above all hopes that my name would be listed on the magical list of finalists who would be flying to Napa Valley to compete for the big bucks. Then I read it, the news that the finalists had already been notified via email/usps mail, and that I was a stupid idiot for waiting up all night, excited. But what took the sting away was reading other people's disappointment with the news. You know, the other "losers." As they say, misery loves company. I was a little bit in love with each contestant who failed to meet the Better Burger standards, as I had done.

My friend Christy and I celebrated my loss with an aptly titled, "Loser Burger Party." I made my official "Losing Burger" and we gorged mindlessly, not needing words to comfort us, but the sensual sabotoge being played out on our taste buds. We laughed at the end and reminded one another that is was "their loss," hoping to ease the burdon of did I? could I have? should I have? assualting my brain. But as the feeling of fullness wore off, I was still left knowing that I lost. It was buried under beef and mangoes and bacon, but it was there, burning a hole into my creative hopes of being something more than me, of becoming a burger goddess in the eyes of everyone I knew.

The most amazing thing happened through this loss. Friends came out of the woodwork to say, "Hey there, friend, pick yourself up and shake yourself off. You'll get there." And so I was moved without expecting to do so. The Great Burger Drama has played itself out thus far. No, I didn't reach the hieghts of greatness with my recipe. No, I wont be famous for my tasty creation. But even as I retire the buns, the ground chuck and ground sirloin, I am left feeling like I did accomplish something. I inspired a group to come together and nurture the heart of someone who tried to achieve a little something bigger, a little something better, and a little something burger. Amen.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog. Keep up the good work. To burger or not to burger, that IS the question!

laura said...

those of us who have been graciously invited to taste any scrap of love you've made are the wiser...silly judges.

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